How One Little Paragraph Helped Me Turn My Life Around
Years ago a massive hurricane threatened to come to our stretch of the coast and tear lives and homes apart.
In this moment of impending crisis, I came up against the truth.
The pretty and organized boxes, drawers, and closets were only pretty and organized on the outside. They contained a jumble of stuff that would take months to sort.
I could find insurance papers galore but none for the current year. Old invoices, expired coupons, elementary school report cards, and artwork, absolutely everything mixed in with what the valuable necessities and legal documents.
The thought of my home blowing away brought feelings of relief and shame. Relief at the thought of this mess being destroyed, me not having to deal with it, and self-loathing and shame to find myself the owner of such a pile of crap with my name on most of it.
I vowed that if my home remained intact I would pick up and deal with every last item and put my life in real order.
True to my promise, I spent the next six months sorting and dealing with every item in my home, garden shed, garage, car, and attic.
It went deeper than decluttering. This included repairing or letting go of broken items, examining why I had what I had, and also releasing projects that I knew I'd never finish.
This was years before KonMari began her journey to teach us all about tidying, sparking joy and living with what we love.
To this day I still consult The Feng Shui Directory by Jane Butler-Biggs. This book explained energy and each chapter contained questions and quick fixes that fascinated me. It inspired and entertained me in such a simple way that I just kept going.
For the first time ever, I reached the end of my To Do list. I expected to feel free and excited, to relish finally having the time to do whatever I wanted, that I would just be so happy…instead, I felt a new kind of misery.
I had held and dealt with every item in my home. Now I felt like there was a loud knock at my front door and I opened it to face My Actual Problems.
There was a whole new layer of issues plain as day. They weren't visible as long as I kept myself distracted with the house and all the stuff.
Wow - now what? And so I consulted my Feng Shui Directory and I was drawn to the last chapter: Happiness and Well-Being.
This one paragraph struck a chord in my heart:
’” Courage.
Happiness requires courage.
When you are happy, there is no excuse for not trying to achieve your ambitions.
Unhappiness can be an excuse to put your life on hold or a way of holding a relationship together.
Some people have an emotional investment in supporting unhappy friends or family in an unspoken collusion, which is destroyed when unhappiness is shaken off.”
All along I wasn’t cognizant that I had other choices. I had believed I was being an unselfish, giving person when in truth, I was cheating myself out of basic understanding and happiness.
I began to read it every day.
With a new strength and kindness to myself and the people in my life, I stopped allowing others to control me.
I owned my part in this situation. For the first time, I realized I did have choices. The ultimate responsibility for my actions rested on my shoulders.
Without demanding that anyone treat me differently, I simply began to honor myself and make choices that were in my own best interest.
I treated myself with new respect and because I changed my actions, the bossy people were left to deal with their demands and expectations on their own.
The truth is there were hard feelings on their part. How dare I begin to think for myself?
We all have a belief system that helps us interpret the world around us, but some of those beliefs can hold us back...Do you believe you have the right to be happy?